@lil_blackbook I am really sorry to hear that, could you please provide your e-mail address by private message ? Thank you very much— Chloé • クロエ (@chloefashion) March 19, 2014
@lil_blackbook I am really sorry to hear that, could you please provide your e-mail address by private message ? Thank you very much— Chloé • クロエ (@chloefashion) March 19, 2014
Going through a break up isn't going to be smooth sailing - there's going to be tears, times when you feel so horrible you can't leave your bed and countless conversations of overanalyzing what went wrong to your girlfriends. But this is all part of the process - that's the truth about breakups (read more here).
Sure after a few months you might not think about him or even love him at all anymore, but if you've been wondering and wanting to give him that text or call just to see how he's doing - the question is: should you contact him? Whether it was your first or your most recent ex, there's always the one ex that lingers on your mind, that you miss or will spontaneously think about during your day - you begin to wonder should I get back with him?
Ask yourself these 6 important questions:
1. Why do you want to get talk to him again? Are you looking for friendship or romance?
Think about why you have been thinking about him. Do you purely miss his company and want to become friends again or do you miss being in a relationship with him and want to rekindle that? Before anything is to happen - figure out why you want him back in your life and be ready to accept that maybe you can't be in each others lives, romantically or otherwise.
2. Have you forgiven him?
Whether you got dumped, you broke up with him or it was a mutual breakup - there's bound to be reasons why you think he should apologise and admit he was in the wrong. In order to even think about getting back with your ex, you need to have truly forgive him for any wrongdoings in the relationships, no matter how significant or trivial. Even if you aren't going to try and rekindle your relationship with your ex, for your own sake you'll need to forgive him and yourself to be able to move on.
3. Have you forgiven yourself?
Surely you've talked to your girlfriends about why you broke up and if you could have done anything to prevent it; if the breakup was because of something you did. You need to stop beating yourself up. Being critical of yourself is helpful only if you learn from your mistakes and gain some perspective for future relationships. In order to begin the healing process, you need to forgive yourself before anything else can happen.
4. Can you handle it if he wants nothing to do with you?
Think about why you broke up and if there could be a romantic reconciliation, if you've forgiven him and yourself for breaking up and if you're ready for the possibility of getting rejected. He might not want to have anything to do with you and you'll need to be ready to face that head on. He might want to start out as friends and take it slow but still hold some hostility towards you. Think it through and think about whether you're really ready to go through it all again - the good and the bad though hopefully with changes in the relationship for the better.
5. Was the relationship healthy?
How did he treat you while you were both together? Does he bring out the best in you? Did he make you laugh, make you genuinely happy and love spending time with you? True it doesn't really matter what your friends or family thought of him - they're on the outside, though have your best interests at heart. If you both can meet each other in the middle, agree to compromise and be better for each other then it's worth it.
6. Do you love HIM or the IDEA of him?
Sometimes it's hard to distinguish if you love him or just the idea of being in a relationship. If you have to think about it too much or try to justify being with him - then it's not worth it. Love should be easier, but we all know sometimes it just isn't. True some relationships just run smoothly while others (like yours or mine) might feel like it's us against the world - this isn't to say it's not worth working on or giving it a chance. Just because you love him or he loves you doesn't mean the relationship will work unless both parties are willing to compromise and really work hard on making it work.
Remember that time has passed since your breakup with your ex and alot could have happened in between your breakup and this rekindling. Take things as it comes, set yourself no expectations, because while you might have forgiven him and yourself - he might not have.
Doing the are-we-dating-yet phone call/text dance means taking it slow and trying to read whether he's interested; he might just genuinely just want to be friends. Whether you've been thinking about becoming friends with an ex or giving it another go - be sure to think it through and try not to make the same mistakes as the first time round.
You survived without being in a relationship and lived your life fine, so don't try and justify or substitute a relationship just because. Just know that you don't have to be in a relationship to be happy. Most importantly you should love and respect yourself before going back to dating.
As many of you might have noticed, I'm delighted to say I'm one of the offical Style Ambassadors for Clearly AU & NZ - you can read my full feature here.
So in celebration and a special thanks to the lovely guys at Clearly Australia & NZ, I'm giving my readers another chance to win some designer sunglasses of your choice! You can enter via two different ways meaning double the chancing of winning!
1. Facebook entry: click here to enter
2. Instagram entry: - Follow @clearlyau - Repost the picture below:
Wearing: Romance Was Born denim biker jacket, sass&bide top, Wheels & Dollbaby skirt, Windsor Smith heels (similar here), Pixie Market clutch, pearl necklace, vintage ring
Known to be a creature of colour - for those who know me, know that my style can be as unpredictable as the weather: one day is head to toe pastels and pinks, other days I love to stay effortless with an all black ensemble. As many of you might have heard, I've been chosen to be one of the official brand ambassadors of the annual Jeans for Genes Day event and this was my contribution to a cause that holds dear to my heart. Being born 4 months premature and coming into this world at only 1kgs, I owe alot to Westmead Children's Hospital and the work of the scientists at Children's Medical Research Institute (CMRI) which Jeans for Genes Day directly supports.
If you want to get involved in the lead up to the 21st birthday of this great cause, the big day on 1st August you can hashtag your denim posts on social media – #21daysofJ4G; and donate to this amazing cause here.
Wearing: Wheels & Dollbaby dress, Topshop heels, Little Black Book necklace (buy it here), Chanel bag, YSL ring, Chanel ring
Waking up to howling winds and equally as horrible chill mean't staying toasty indoors with lots of cups of hot tea to get me through the day. A shoot I've forgotten about till now, this was shot in Auckland by the harbour during NZFW last year. A dress I had my eye on for some time, this floral beauty is by one of my favourite Aussie labels Wheels & Dollbaby - the perfect amount of feminine and elegance.
Without a doubt I always have such a wonderful time in Auckland during NZFW, it's a week of great fashion, catching up with international friends and staying at the luxurious Sofitel Auckland Viaduct Harbour. Hopefully I can find sponsorship to be able to attend NZFW this year, it would be such a shame and a personal disappointment if I were to miss it. So if you would like to talk how we can work together or collaborate please get in touch via email.
When I was first contacted by a small family owned business called Bloombox Co, I was intrigued - then when Mel and Phil founders of Bloombox Co told me that their launching a flower subscription service I was estatic! I absolutely adore flowers - I love how a bunch of flowers, whether bought or picked from your garden can bring immediate joy and delight into your home or your friendship.
The Bloombox philosophy is to "help people stop and smell the roses, enjoy their homes, enrich their friendships and just generally make life more beautiful" and I couldn't agree more!
Flowers are beautiful, each one unique in colour and fragrance as well as season; the selection I was given was thoughtfully selected to suit my personality and style - I got sent a beautiful box of blooms filled with red carnations, rich purple chrysanthemums, wild roses, pretty pink sweet pea blooms, fresh lavender and white stock (similar to snapdragons!).
Personally I don't see a reason why someone has to have to buy flowers - sure giving flowers for a birthday or special occassion is fantastic and I've done it before but the best reason is the value of flowers. I love giving flowers or treating myself with flowers purely for the fact that flowers are pretty, smell amazing and bring a bit of happiness into your house or bedroom.
Thank you Bloombox for the beautiful box of pretty blooms - my room now is smelling so fragrant! I'm in flower heaven! I'm looking forward to the launch of Bloombox in September, exciting and blooming times ahead xx
Wearing: Hello Parry coat, Lazyoaf x Garfield dress, Ebony Fleur necklace, Alice & Leon ring, vintage ring, pearl bracelet, Aldo boots, Lenovo Yoga 2 Pro, Georgia Mae clutch
I posted about the adorable Lazy Oaf collection and their recent collaboration with Garfield and couldn't resist purchasing this adorable LazyoafxGarfield dress. At first I thought that the fabric and cut was a bit ordinary - till you put the dress on. Usually during winter I hardly ever wear weather appropriate clothing - up until today, I only own 1 coat and a couple scarves. These boots by Aldo were much needed winter staples as my old boots decided to break after 2 years of wearing them to death and I got them at 50% the rrp price which was a lovely surprise! Not only is this pretty pastel pink coat by Hello Parry comfortable, it also is quite affordable and I know I'll be living in it during winter! This is also my exciting PART 2 collaboration (you can read PART 1 here) with the cool cats at Lenovo, including my next set of Q&A - I hope you enjoy!
How did you get inspired to start your blog, Little Black Book?
Little Black Book started as a online diary where I could share my day to day life. I was at a point in my life where I wanted to hone in my writing skills and Little Black Book was the perfect outlet for that. The colourful outfits and unicorns just followed after that!
How would you describe your personal style?
Quirky, colourful and feminine
What are your fashion picks for Winter?
Definitely pastel coats and jackets will be big in Winter - they'll give you that extra pop of colour and make you stand out during the usual sea of monochrome coats and scarves.
Do you style your own editorials for your blog?
Everything I wear and feature on my blog has been approved by myself or is something I personally endorse or love. I love styling my own editorials and I work with my photographer Aimee on where to shoot and what to feature.
Your blog is full of colour. Where do you get your fashion inspiration?
Fellow instagrammers and tumblr is the best source of inspiration for myself. Right now I'm still looking to Tokyo and Japanese fashion for inspiration and am always on the look out for talented new designers to support.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Hopefully shooting some nation wide (or worldwide) campaigns with some of my favourite labels like Chloe, Chanel or Miu Miu and getting big in Japan. So NHK and Nippon Vogue if you're reading this - watch out because I'm coming for you!
What advice would you give someone who’s been wanting pastel hair but just hasn’t taken the plunge to do it yet?
Just do it! Life is too short to stress about what society would think of you. If it makes you happy – then do it! It has been one of the best decisions I’ve made, I haven’t looked back since!
What have you found cool about the Yoga 2 Pro besides the chic orange colour?
I actually can't get over the sheer sleekness and how light the Lenovo Yoga 2 Pro is. It definitely is lighter than the Macbook Air and the fact that it turns from a laptop into a tablet is just so handy!
Finally any advice for someone who wants to start blogging but wouldn’t know where to start?
Blog because you love doing it, don’t start a blog for fame or fortune. You need to also realise that maintaining a blog is hard work and requires constant motivation and attention. Try to find your own niche and stand out and realise what your point of difference is.
Photo credit: Aimee Stoddart
Editor's Note: Usually despite this blog being my online journal and my own sanctuary - I've kept matters of my heart relatively separate from here and my readers (my tumblr not so much since there's a level of anonymity). Well the cats out of the bag, I've decided to share with you what I've been dealing with personally and just my own musings on the matter. I hope it helps someone reading this! :)
No matter how long it's been since you broke up with your boyfriend, he will always have a spot in your heart. Depending how fresh the break up, you're probably just feeling pure hurt and hatred to the ex, though this will eventually turn to memories of happier times and pure love that you once held for each other - it's undoubtably true to say he's left a mark on your personality, look on life and how you'll approach entering a relationship in the future.
Once you've broken up - whether you were the one to do the breaking up or on the receiving end, it's going to hurt like hell. Sure you might think that just because he broke up with you means he just didn't care anymore or love you enough.
There are many reasons for relationships breaking down; bad timing, distance, no communication, other temptations or just no fucks given. It's true, those that truly know me, that talk to me and have seen me deal with this break up has seen how it's affected my look on life and love. On one hand, I've always been a true romantic yet the other half of me (I attribute this to being a Capricorn) is wholeheartedly realistic - so imagine my surprise after a truly random breakup occurs: there was no warning signs, no lead up to this and honestly everything was great! I've always thought perhaps too idealistically or romantically that if both parties love each other - truly love each other, then there's nothing that can stop them from making the relationship work. True it won't be easy, but what in life is?
Each person you let into your guarded heart cannot be truly erased - he's left a mark on you: he loved you, seen the true you and I guess ultimately broken your heart. He's also shaped you and given you incredible memories and experiences. Speaking personally, I still love him and will always hold a special spot for him in my heart but for now I can't have him in my life - I need time to mourn and heal.
They say that once a relationship is over, you can't be friends - true friends in ever sense of the word. I mean look at Carrie and Big - whether it's jealousy, not so subtle flirting or teasing or just the constant temptation of what was and what could have been, it just isn't so black and white.
Try to remember the happier times in your relationship after you've had enough time to grieve and hate him - because lets face it, it's easier to hate and blame him to move on as you assumed he has.
Little things remind you of him - the cafe you loved going to for brunch or that special little thai place that hardly no one knows about that you took him to or even a tv series you used to watch with him. These reminders, that necklace you wear that he bought you - like the relationship has both happy and sad memories attached to them. So should you get angry and throw away the love notes, dried roses or jewellery and truly 'let go'? Or just hide them away till you're ready to appreciate the unconditional love that you had once experienced with him? I can't tell you what to do, I personally can't yet throw these momentos away and am still wearing the necklace - given after a couple weeks of it off.
Do what you need to do to move on and slowly let your heart heal, watch Sex & the City marathons with your girlfriends, treat yourself to some fresh flowers, a Lush bubble bath or go out and splurge on that Chanel necklace you've been eyeing off. Retail therapy won't heal your heart but it sure can help! Sure you might still miss him, I know I miss my ex and honestly matters of the heart makes me feel like Lana Del Rey wrote her songs about me sometimes but things will get better and you'll grow stronger. Time will heal your heart but for now, look after yourself and go out and do what you've been dreaming of doing and have been putting off. Don't be controlled by your ex - you lived and survived without him and can do so again. Chin up x
Here's a fun video from my recent trip to Japan - some funny, some amazing footage from Nara and the deer as well as just being with some amazing girlfriends just makes the trip even more memorable.
Japan I love you.
Video credit: Aimee Stoddart
A fashion & style blog run by self confessed lilac maned unicorn blogger named Emily based in Sydney, Australia. She loves pearls, floral and all things glitter. Besides blogging, Emily works as a freelance stylist, social media expert, dabbles in web design and has a slight obsession with tea.
Connect with Emily:
Mail Facebook Twitter
Tumblr Instagram Pinterest
We Heart It Booodl
Current location - Sydney, Australia